a smiling drummer as well

thank you...

esp. now... you know...

(there was a private picture)

it's great to have you as a friend, dear Sasza

przepraszam!!!

mr drummer... a thoughtful drummer... a great drummer and a great friend

you want me to kill it...right?..i ask though i know YOU would never want it.. you used to repeat: you should know me by now... i do, i do.. dearest... but ..what am i suposed to do..? and sometimes i wonder: shall I just- do what you did?? - is this waht you did? - shall i just kill it.. and be numb as a nail... who can hurt, who cannot be hurt.. who does not want to feel.... but wouldn't I be again that precisely the dead flower you saved and turned into a rose..?? so what am i supposed to do? while you are killing everything in you.. or perhaps killed already... can IT be killed?... is there anything left in our hearts...? what am i supposed to do? not killing it means hurting ....happiness that you exist and pain that you feel hurt and went away.. because you did not want to see what i tried to explain.. you just shut and thought: "ok, this was a mistake, it is gonna only hurt me again, better to close it and never look back.. never look back" while one look at my face and what i tried to explain would make it clear that i never intended to hurt you/// but was scared to show that i care... was it what you thought? never look back....? and i am only the look back you are trying to avoid..? ...but in that case, am i supposed to kill it?... just to stop the pain for a sec... pain and joy... the peace and joy you give me..just because you are... just because you are.... but shall i make the impossible happen, and pay for it with my numbness and pain..change pain for pain... for the pain of numbness and sadness..... and numbness....is this what you wanna...dear? is this what you wanna...?

I know... it seems easier.... i forget you, you forget me...we go.. somewhere ...somehow....
but isn't it the worst possible option...? instead of keeping IT.. now when it would be so much stronger... because i learned you, and you learned me... and it is so much stronger......it seems easier Dear... but are you happy? is now making you happy..? would you give IT a chance to make you happy... anew... in present... with no past....

.....unless you are happy . fully happy now..... then... i am happy for you... as always....